baron

i don't like to write poems about other people because they can't (link-reveal:"fight back")[ this becomes especially apparent when that person is (link-reveal:"a cat")[ i love my cat because he is exactly like me but (link-reveal:"a cat")[ sometimes you cannot help but write a poem about [[someone->2]]]]]

my cat's name is [[baron->3]]

(my guess is that he got fat because he doesn't want to do anything. he just lies down all day. the only time he has ever made any effort to do anything was when i gave him a catnip toy and he dragged it around the house, screeching at the top of his lungs. laziness does not seem like something that would be praised in a feral cat colony. presumably, baron would display occasional feats of prowess to maintain a certain level of respect, so he could spend most of his time being fed and pampered by the other cats. not to read too much into his name, of course.) [[`<<` back->6]] (set: $continue to $continue+1)

(when you bring in a rescue cat you should check them for worms if they are unusually skinny or fat. both of these body types indicate worms. i wish i could use worms as an excuse for being fat. i think it is just because i am a bad person and a piece of shit. anyway, baron did not have worms. he was just fat.) [[`<<` back->6]] (set: $continue to $continue+1)

(i think it is motivated by fear. when you are afraid of how other people will treat you, you learn to read them very closely. you want to make sure that in all cases you have the upper hand. you want to make sure that they cannot hurt you. it is a survival instinct. it is a talent. it is also a horrible curse that will plague you forever.) (set: $last to (history:)'s last) [[`<<` back->$last]] (set: $con2 to 1)

my cat's name is baron baron is [[anxious->4]]

my cat's name is baron baron is anxious baron is [[bad at communicating->5]]

my cat's name is baron baron is anxious baron is bad at communicating baron is needy but doesn't want to [[show it->6]]

my cat's name is baron baron is anxious baron is bad at communicating baron is needy but doesn't want to show it baron is [[so fat]] that when the rescue brought him in they thought he had [[worms]] (if: $continue >= 2)[because why else would anyone be [[fat->7]]]

baron is very [[emotionally intelligent]] (if: $con2 is 1)[baron is a beautiful [[peach->8]]]

baron is very [[emotionally intelligent]] baron is a beautiful peach baron is my [[friend->9]]

baron is very [[emotionally intelligent]] baron is a beautiful peach baron is my friend albeit by [[coersion]]

"<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_interaction_with_cats" target="_blank">Cats</a> are common pets in all continents of the world, and their global population is difficult to ascertain, with estimates ranging from anywhere between 200 million to 600 million." "In comparison to dogs, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat" target="_blank">cats have not undergone major changes during the domestication process</a>, as the form and behavior of the domestic cat is not radically different from those of wildcats and domestic cats are perfectly capable of surviving in the wild." [[`<<` back->10]]

baron is very [[emotionally intelligent]] baron is a beautiful peach baron is my friend albeit by [[coersion]] but what's a little coersion between [[friends->11]]

someone told me that [[anthropomorphizing]] pets is [[a mistake->12]]

someone told me that [[anthropomorphizing]] pets is a mistake someone told me that owning a pet is as bad as [[zoophilia]] (set: $zoo to "13")

someone told me that [[anthropomorphizing]] pets is a mistake someone told me that owning a pet is as bad as [[zoophilia]] someone told me that cats are [[selfish and rude]]

(this is a decent litmus test for whether or not i can trust someone: if you think cats are not capable of loving or expressing love, we need to have a serious talk. cats may be hard to read sometimes but that is because we are not cats. we have to make a conscious decision to interpret and respond to their love. if cats as a species had an enneagram type, they would probably be <a href="https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-4" target="_blank">type 4</a>. but of course, anthropomorphizing cats is a sign of stupidity and insecurity, just like believing in enneagrams. or so people tell me.) [[`<<` back->14]]

someone told me that [[anthropomorphizing]] pets is a mistake someone told me that owning a pet is as bad as [[zoophilia]] someone told me that cats are [[selfish and rude]] someone told me that i am just like [[baron->15]] (set: $zoo to "14")

i would assume that baron de-anthropomorphizes [[me->16]]

i would assume that baron de-anthropomorphizes me i don't know what that means [[exactly->17]]

i would assume that baron de-anthropomorphizes me i don't know what that means exactly i don't know that i love [[anyone->18]]

i would assume that baron de-anthropomorphizes me i don't know what that means exactly i don't know that i love anyone i doubt baron [[loves]] anyone either

"<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthropomorphism" target="_blank">Anthropomorphism</a> is the attribution of human traits, emotions, and intentions to non-human entities and is considered to be an innate tendency of human psychology. People have routinely attributed human emotions and behavioural traits to wild as well as domestic animals." (set: $last to (history:)'s last) [[`<<` back->$last]]

(however, i like to think that baron has a secret affair with my roommate's cat greg. i constantly find them in compromising positions, staring lovingly into each other's eyes. when caught, they act sheepish and drift apart. i've been told that i [[read too much into everything|k]]. i can't ask them what they're doing, and i [[can't keep my big mouth shut|k]], so the best i can do is [[make wild accusations about their thoughts and feelings based on my own preferred narrative|k]].) [[`<<` back->19]]

i would assume that baron de-anthropomorphizes me i don't know what that means exactly i don't know that i love anyone i doubt baron loves anyone either i guess that leaves us together

(i'm a poet.) [[`<<` back|loves]]

"<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoophilia" target="_blank">Zoophilia</a> is a paraphilia involving a sexual fixation on non-human animals. Bestiality is cross-species sexual activity between human and non-human animals. The terms are often used interchangeably, but some researchers make a distinction between the attraction (zoophilia) and the act (bestiality)." [[`<<` back->$zoo]]